How Can I Change My Identity…

Yesterday our academic cordinator announced…those girls who wants to change their names on the degree certificate please go to university and do the respective process…

To my shock there were ten girls who wanted to change their surname…all of them are married and wanted to give up their maiden name…they have completed the process and now their certificates and marksheets will be embossed with the proud name of their spouse…

Some fellows asked me why am I not changing my surname…I told them bluntly…”my name is my identity and I cannot change it just because some man has put ek chutki sindoor in my maang”…

I love him unconditionally and he knows that…but adopting his name professionally…is a big no no for me…I have created my whole life…my education, my career, my identity on my name…people know me as AARYA…I can’t change it…no not even to make him feel loved and special…

Have you ever thought…you have to change your name everywhere from pancard to passport…what will you do if your husband leaves you someday or he dies…well I know I shouldn’t be so harsh…but be practical…nothing is permanent…he loves you today what if he stops loving you tommorrow…

What will you do if he leaves you or die…you have to start everything from scratch…you will keep running between the offices…trying hard to catch up your identity…but by that time you would be lost in storm of life…

I dont know whether Indian women are the only one who are obssessed with adopting the name of their husband…or it’s quite common in other parts of the world too…but I am so not part of this fake tradition…

People say dont act like a fool…but I am not…just because a girl gets married so she should change her either first or last name…no ways…and if its so why dont these men try to change their name for once…

I feel proud when someone calls me Mrs Vicky Sharma…I flaunt his name with proud when I am in social gatherings and in daily life…but when I am performing on the platform of my professional life…I am just AARYA…and I will keep that through out my life…

My name is not only my identity but also my life…I can’t give up my name to make someone happy

That’s AARYA signing off for today…

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5 thoughts on “How Can I Change My Identity…”

  1. Here in Brazil, usually the woman keeps her maiden name and just adds on her husband’s last name too. However, times have changed and women do what they like. I kept my maiden name and added just the last part of my husband’s last name. Our kids have both of our last names.
    🙂

    1. That’s great…in India people will faint if kids will add the name of their mother 😀
      Good to know…scenario is different in your country…husbands consider it as if wives have hurt their male ego…but things are changing in urban cities…hoping for best 🙂

  2. Agree with you. As a human being, you have your own identity and it’s something one should take pride in. When I get married, I wouldn’t like my would be wife to change her name or wear Mangal Sutra or Sindoor. Two people with different identities can love each other and it makes the relationship so beautiful.

    1. Wow…I hope all these men have your kinda attitude…they take it so personally…as if to say wife insulted the husband in front of everyone…I wish people’s mindset change with time 🙂

      1. Trust me it’s not easy in this hypocrite world where family pressure, read, false ego and pride plays a big role in stifling individuality. I know of many men who have this pride in them and few girls as well. Unfortunately, not many are ready to reflect on life and matters. I’m quite a pessimist on attitudes that can get better!

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