ARRANGED MARRIAGES…

ARRANGE – organizing something or putting something in order…

MARRIAGE – legal joining of two people or union…

AARANGED MARRIAGE (AM) – organizing the legal joining of two people…

Recent survey conducted by NDTV, showed us that 74% people in India still prefer Arranged Marriages…It might be difficult for some of my foreign friends to understand but that is the harsh reality of our country…We still believe in Arranged Marriages…

Till 18th century, Arranged Marriages were very common practice throughout the world…I know it might come as shocker to you but it’s true…as the word itself convey the meaning that these marriages are arranged either by your parents or grandparents or relatives or through match maker

Now I would like to make it very clear that Arrange Marriages are different from Forced Marriages…and we will talk about Forced Marriages some other time…

This process of marriage starts with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry…the age factor various from caste to caste, in Gujarat & Rajasthan boy & girl gets married by the time they turn 22 or 23…in some cases maybe early whereas Punjabis prefer late marriages around 30 for both boys & girls…

There are criteria for a good match, which is highly influenced by family, nowadays few parents have started asking for their children preferences also, but the ratio is usually 90:10…It can vary from family to family but it can include: Caste, Religion, State, Horoscope, Profession, Status, Physical Appearance…these are some famous criteria for hunting a suitable spouse…

Now once the parents have found their dream Daughter-in-law or Son-in-law… now in India instead of looking for a suitable life partner for their child, parents always search for a suitable bahu (daughter-in-law) or damad (son-in-law) whom they can flaunt in front of the so called samaj (society)…they will exchange photos, and if both the parties have given Thumbs Up to the picture of boy & girl… …next step would be a family meeting, it can be arranged at anyone’s house, usually it happens to be at girl’s house…in family meetings all the family members are supposed to meet each other, even your immediate Aunt’s & Uncle’ s also, and these meetings can be extended up to 6 to 7 times in some cases…

Once both the families are satisfied with each other, next meeting would be arranged so that boy & girl can see each other, this is the last & final stage…if boy has said yes than Congratulations…nobody cares in India what girls think…parents just want to get rid of their daughters ASAP…well it is a harsh reality…parents have changed with times, nowadays they have started asking for their daughter’s consent too, but the number is very less, and that too limited only till urban cities…

Now once a family have selected the suitable Groom or Bride for their child…next step is Engagement, in India you cannot hold an Engagement for more than 6 months and a year would be in exceptional cases, like if a boy is NRI ( Non Resident Indian)…after Engagement comes Tilak Ceremony than Marriage…in Tilak Ceremony, girl’s father give gifts and sweets to the boy’s family, gifts can be in any form, gold, cash, car, clothes, property, to name few…it is popular throughout India with different different names, but it is one of the very important ritual in Indian Wedding Ceremony…

Once all the wedding rituals are over, parents bid farewell to their beloved daughter forever, popularly known as BIDAI…and from there the real journey starts…

Well this is the first half of my article to make everyone understand…What are Arranged Marriage?…the next one would be about how does this concept works…now next half of the article is quite long comparatively…but it will be worth reading…stay tuned till I post another one…I promise I will take you to another world…

Love ❤ AARYA

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