Arranged Marriage…Part 2

As you are going to move ahead with my article, you might feel that I am against Arranged Marriages but that is not true…it’s just that I never understood the concept of Arranged Marriages…

Two complete strangers are supposed to live together just because their parents want them to be together…no one is bothered whether these two people actually want to live together or no…or whether these two people are compatible enough to be together for the rest of their life…here I am not talking about astrological compatibility, I am talking about compatibility between two people…for more read my article on COMPATIBILITY…one of the best article of my blog…

Now in India, our Parents the Great… believe that ‘shadi do parivaro ka Milan hota hai’ (marriage is bond between two families)…and that is why parents are always looking for a perfect family not a good life partner for their son or daughter but a GOOD FAMILY…now, Is this family going to live with your beloved child???…NO…Is this family going to stand for your child in rough phases???…NO, some of them might have passed away by the time actual married life kicks in…

Say What...
Say What…

The first year in Arranged Marriages is very different, boy and the girl are always on cloud 9…movies, dinners, shopping, gifts and flowers and what not to woo each other…girl’s also needs to woo their parents by law…now by the end of the first year, realitystarts kicking in…and by the end of three years you can actually say whether you are compatible to your partner or not…which usually doesn’t happen because in arranged marriages parents want to be grandparents within 9 months of marriage, so majority of the couples have babies within two years of marriage…and once you have a baby, you will never have time in this world to know your spouse…and just like that life goes on…after 10 to 15 years when you get some time to know your spouse, it’s too late, to take any step…you are mature and above all you have two kids to look after, so usually couples decides to move on with life without complaining…

LOVEWhat is that???is it related to marriage???… is totally missing in arranged ptg01515860marriages…but we hear from all these newlyweds, especially from girls that I love him so much…REALLY???do you even know the true meaning of love???…but actually it’s not their fault…we Indian Girls have this genetic disorder that as soon as any Tom, Dick and Harry  apply’s ek chutki sindoor  in any girl’s maang…the very next minute that girl will be ready to jump in the havan kund(fire) for him…believe me, all Indian newly married girls are that stupid…

(sindoor is red color powder worn by married women on their hair parting in India)

Now, you don’t know any single thing about opposite person and you can never know anything within four to five months of telephonic conversations…because that person might be faking so many things while talking to you on phone…talking and behaving couples_couple_bw_love_lovemaking_lovers-912862cf38ce4c5492ebb44c22b9bdb6_h-2723like a gentleman, giving gifts and roses every now and then…if you consider all these things as love, well…I am so sorry…please get a reality check…nowadays thanks to this media, this is what every man does to have sex with the lady…it’s the polite version of, ‘I want to fuck you hard you bitch’…SEX, they do it without any love, they want it by hook or crook…

Now coming back to the Arranged Marriages, 90% of Arranged Marriages are like the kind of relation you have with your pet…you might not like your pet on 1st day might be on 2nd day or on 3rd day…but on 4th day if it goes missing, you will start looking for it everywhere…Arranged Marriages are like that only, you get habitual…you don’t love each other, but over the course of time you become so used to each other that you don’t want to be without each other…now if that is what you call love, well wake up be updated…you definitely need to upgrade your knowledge about LOVE…

So far what I have observed , Arranged Marriages in my opinion is just  a hoax…you have to say yes for everything  and agree to every word even when you hate it from the bottom of your heart…you have to do stuff that you will never do under any other circumstances…you cannot be your true to yourself for a long time and in some cases may be never…everyone around you, your parents and in-laws, expect you to behave in certain way and you can never disobey them…try it, and you will get a whole twenty two hour long sessions of lectures on how to be a good wife and daughter in law…boys usually don’t get any lectures in India how to be a good husband…now the worst part of Arranged Marriages is this that, girls have to compromise a lot in comparison to boys…

And another thing that annoys me a lot and I cannot digest this thought of spending your complete life with a stranger…you are not love-chemistrysure about the compatibility and by the time the sun rises believe me it is too late…and when you talk about CHEMISTRY you can see a big question mark on their faces…and trying to prove that they know each other since decades…and I feel chemistry is the synonym of Love…

I would like to apologize if I have hurt anyone’s feelings but this is my true opinion about arranged marriage…I came up with this conclusion after years of observation and reading too many data and survey’s conducted by various government and private agencies… I am not against it but I can’t digest its concept…

I am not saying that you don’t get good partners in Arranged Marriages…if you are lucky enough, you might get a soul mate but that rarely happens in Arranged Marriages…

I have observed many couple in my family and friends, well I am the first alien in my family who have the balls to opt for love marriage…but jokes apart, I have observed it that marriage doesn’t depend on whether it’s arranged or love, both marriages go through same ups and down…for a successful marriage you need to respect each other which usually go missing after few years…you need to have compatibility and chemistry, which is usually absent in most of the marriages…

‘True lovers don’t marry someone they can live with; they marry someone they can’t live without’…you decide with whom would you like to be…I choose to live with the one without whom my life would become a big question mark…what’s your decision…

Love ❤ AARYA

 

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ARRANGED MARRIAGES…

ARRANGE – organizing something or putting something in order…

MARRIAGE – legal joining of two people or union…

AARANGED MARRIAGE (AM) – organizing the legal joining of two people…

Recent survey conducted by NDTV, showed us that 74% people in India still prefer Arranged Marriages…It might be difficult for some of my foreign friends to understand but that is the harsh reality of our country…We still believe in Arranged Marriages…

Till 18th century, Arranged Marriages were very common practice throughout the world…I know it might come as shocker to you but it’s true…as the word itself convey the meaning that these marriages are arranged either by your parents or grandparents or relatives or through match maker

Now I would like to make it very clear that Arrange Marriages are different from Forced Marriages…and we will talk about Forced Marriages some other time…

This process of marriage starts with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry…the age factor various from caste to caste, in Gujarat & Rajasthan boy & girl gets married by the time they turn 22 or 23…in some cases maybe early whereas Punjabis prefer late marriages around 30 for both boys & girls…

There are criteria for a good match, which is highly influenced by family, nowadays few parents have started asking for their children preferences also, but the ratio is usually 90:10…It can vary from family to family but it can include: Caste, Religion, State, Horoscope, Profession, Status, Physical Appearance…these are some famous criteria for hunting a suitable spouse…

Now once the parents have found their dream Daughter-in-law or Son-in-law… now in India instead of looking for a suitable life partner for their child, parents always search for a suitable bahu (daughter-in-law) or damad (son-in-law) whom they can flaunt in front of the so called samaj (society)…they will exchange photos, and if both the parties have given Thumbs Up to the picture of boy & girl… …next step would be a family meeting, it can be arranged at anyone’s house, usually it happens to be at girl’s house…in family meetings all the family members are supposed to meet each other, even your immediate Aunt’s & Uncle’ s also, and these meetings can be extended up to 6 to 7 times in some cases…

Once both the families are satisfied with each other, next meeting would be arranged so that boy & girl can see each other, this is the last & final stage…if boy has said yes than Congratulations…nobody cares in India what girls think…parents just want to get rid of their daughters ASAP…well it is a harsh reality…parents have changed with times, nowadays they have started asking for their daughter’s consent too, but the number is very less, and that too limited only till urban cities…

Now once a family have selected the suitable Groom or Bride for their child…next step is Engagement, in India you cannot hold an Engagement for more than 6 months and a year would be in exceptional cases, like if a boy is NRI ( Non Resident Indian)…after Engagement comes Tilak Ceremony than Marriage…in Tilak Ceremony, girl’s father give gifts and sweets to the boy’s family, gifts can be in any form, gold, cash, car, clothes, property, to name few…it is popular throughout India with different different names, but it is one of the very important ritual in Indian Wedding Ceremony…

Once all the wedding rituals are over, parents bid farewell to their beloved daughter forever, popularly known as BIDAI…and from there the real journey starts…

Well this is the first half of my article to make everyone understand…What are Arranged Marriage?…the next one would be about how does this concept works…now next half of the article is quite long comparatively…but it will be worth reading…stay tuned till I post another one…I promise I will take you to another world…

Love ❤ AARYA