Here Comes the…FART

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH………I FARTED IN FRONT OF MY BOYFRIEND…

Remember this line from Sex and the City…I was rolling on the floor laughing but at that moment I didn’t know that very soon it’s going to be action replayed…there would be few changes though instead of Carrie and Mr. Big…it’s going to be me and Mr. V…aaaaahhhaaaaa

Well every couple have to go throw this traumatic phase of FARTING…whether you have recently started dating or in live-in or married…you just can’t run away from FARTING…the harder you will try, the louder it will sound 😉

Usually it’s easy for boys to fart…they are known for farting and stinking…it is more traumatizing for girls…and I remember my first time…for a change my husband doesn’t have problem of Farting and Stinking…his digestion is super sexy and he doesn’t even smell even after three days (without shower)…touchwood 🙂

We were cuddling and enjoying some show on TV…it was some comedy show and we were laughing out loud…and suddenly I farted out loud…O My Gosh…How could I commit this crime???…How could I fart in front of my boyfriend (well at that time we were in Live-in Relationship)…and the only punishment for this is to go to hell…I swear at that moment hell must have looked more beautiful than heaven…I was so embarrassed and to make it worst he hold me so tightly so that I can’t run to other room…

He kept teasing me for days…I have severe gastric problem…in fact at my home I am the stinking and farting pig of the house…no need to give me that look…I haven’t chosen it for me…

I avoided him for so many days…I was dying with embarrassment for days…few days later we were sitting on the terrace and enjoying the evening…he made me sit on his lap and took my face in his hands and told me “It’s alright honey…why are you avoiding me???…no need to feel ashamed, you are human not a machine…it’s alright…we are going to be together forever so are you going to stop farting forever???…you think that I don’t know that why do you rush to other room during meals or watching a TV or a movie…I know you want to fart out loud…now no need to hide your face…it’s okay baby…someday I might have farting problem then what???…I love you the way you are…I love you even you fart and stink my motu (Fatty, it’s my nick name since I was size zero)”

“Well that might make me more comfortable, but you never Fart  😦   …I am a girl I am supposed to be perfect all the time” I said this hiding my face in his chest…

“No, you are human…and this is normal so take a chillpill” with that he kissed me softly on my lips and that night TV remained off…

Well it’s going to be 11 years but I still don’t feel comfortable farting in front of him…but yes now he has heard my loud bombards more than ever…and I am sure with time whatever little embarrassment is left, will also leave the house forever…and I understood that someday when I will conceive and become all gassy and swollen, I will fart…so I am letting it go of slowly and gradually…

So, all you girls…stop feeling bad about being gassy because it’s so true we are human…and you just can’t run away from this…next time whenever you fart, just laugh over it than sleep on it and wait for the next one to come 😉  …I know whenever Vicks will read it he is going to tease me…I fart like a shit yesterday morning in the bathroom…and he is teasing me since then 😀

I don’t know…what is more nerve wrecking…THE FIRST KISS OR THE FIRST FART…and the awkward moment when you think you do a silent fart and it comes out like a machine gun…

It’s time to kiss goodbye…So, all you girls Keep Farting 😀

Love  ❤ , AARYA

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “Here Comes the…FART”

  1. Thanks for sharing this link. This was really funny. I remember dating a girl and farting in front of her for the first time. She was thrilled because it gave her license to fart in front of me, as well. And she did…all the time. And hers were really smelly ones, too. I think that’s why we finally broke up. I couldn’t stand the smell of her farts!

    1. Rofl…I am sorry but this incident is damn funny…I can understand sometimes we do get in these kind of messy yet funny situations…I am glad that you took time out of your busy schedule to go through ma post…Thank you 🙂

  2. You did what?!! You are sooo disgusting. No decent women should do that. As a matter of fact I would spank you as a ways for you to understand the gravity of it………..
    Now, farting is a technique. And believe me I have it down to a science. You can ask all the girls I´ve been with, the words “You´re a pig” were used multiple times on me, still suffer from those horrible worded phrases, but it was worth it, you had to see their faces when Charly went puff puff, that´s the only thing I miss about not being in a relationship, making her suffer through my gases, mustard gas I would say. They should have put me in the category of WMD(weapons of mass destruction).So without a girlfriend I can´t do just walk up to a girl in the bar and say “Can I borrow your cell phone, I want to tell God that he just lost an Angel” and then go PUFFFFF!. Not working.
    By the way, did you say your husband goes 3 days without stinking? meaning he doesn´t shower in 3 days…

    1. Hahaha…I am human Charlie…I cant help it 😀
      but I am really feeling sorry for all your girls…I need to think twice shall I go on date with you or not 😉

      Vicky and I know each other since 11 years Charlie…you figure out few things automatically 😛

  3. Which is more nerve wrecking: first kiss or first fart? Try both in the same night…yep, that happened! We were friends but I secretly wanted it to be more. A night of popcorn and movies at a friend’s house led to hand-holding and cuddling…but the popcorn led to…you guessed it – ppppppfffffttttt! We laughed (which made me fart more) and we laughed more, I professed that I was crazy embarrassed and apologized profusely – he didn’t seem to mind. When we went our separate ways for bed I belly ached about how I had ruined all chances of us being more than friends. Within minutes he came back into the living room (where I was sleeping), crouched down and said, “you make me laugh” to which I replied, “I’m glad I could fart for you” and he kissed me. Best summer romance – ever!

    1. LOL…kevil…I am feeling like adding your comment to my post…its a beautiful incident…thanks for sharing it…you made me laugh 😀
      Thanks for sharing it 🙂

      1. Add away! I’m happy to share that embarrassing stuff happens to everyone…it’s how you deal with it that matters. That is probably why I don’t get embarrassed very often – I laugh instead (and others often laugh at me too, but I pretend they are laughing with me).

      2. Wow..I wish I could be like you…people say it requires a great courage to laugh on yourself…and people who can do that are worth hanging out with 😀

  4. Sorry but I had to laugh at this…erm…misfortune! It brought me back to my ‘first time’ too. I was mortified… It was so unexpected…but also strangely gratifying…from then onwards I didn’t have to ‘hold on’ until I thought I would EXPLODE any longer… It was ‘okay’ to fart in front of each other, our relationship had progressed! Haha.

    1. Hahaha…I can understand Amanda…first time really sucks 😉
      And even if you want to we just cant stop ourselves from laughing on these kind situation 😀

  5. Hi Aarya! I have read your story and I think that farts are embarassing, You are right! I’m male, but farts embarass me a lot when I’m with girls! I suffer from bloating, so I fart a lot! 😦 My farts aren’t smelly, but they are often louds! 😦 So I’m so embarassed when I’m not at home, and I must go to sleep in a room in which there are other people, obviously especially girls! But last year I went to my first grade female cousin’s house (she is a 25 years old beautiful girl, she is 3 years younger than me) and they were many years that I didn’t see her because her parents have moved from my town a long times ago. I think that the last time I farted in front of her, we were kids. But this time I’m so very gassy…I had beans for lunch!! And I was so embarassed to fart in front of her! So I tried to hold the gas in, but my belly was like an hot-air balloon! So, after a few moment, I realased the gas hoping that the fart wasn’t very loud, but unfortunately it was one of the biggest fart that I have done in my entire life! I was so very embarassed and said: excuse me! But she said: Don’t worry, it does nothing! It’s a natural thing! So i felt relieved! I haven’t a girlfriend, but when I’ll have one, I think that if she loves me, she’ll not care of my farts like my cousin does! So if your husband loves you, don’t worry if you fart a lot! 😉

Would appreciate your opinions and views...I am here to listen...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s