Me & My Fear…

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My worst fear and anxiety…not bad for today’s 101 Challenge

I was thinking about writing on this topic since few weeks…but didn’t move my ass…but now I don’t have any option…I known its not compulsory to participate in 101 everyday but you know what I ain’t a quitter…

As far as I can remember,  I always have fear of travelling by car…For one hour I will stay normal but after that fear starts to kick in…I start feeling that I will be dead the very next moment…the vehicle coming from the opposite direction will hit me and I will die instantly and the feeling grew so strong within few minutes that I start feeling suffocated…There have been times when I vomited or asked the driver to stop the car immediately…

I tried to get rid of my anxiety by listening to loud music or enjoying the scenery outside or try to communicate with others in the car…but God knows why…as soon as the fear kicks in…I just can’t concentrate on anything else…the fear keeps on haunting me, the harder I try to get it out of my mind, the harder it tries to come again with a bang and worsen the situation…

Initially it was difficult to understand,  what I am going through but with time I understood my fear of travelling by car…I realised that I am an Amaxophobic…but guess what…I have travelled majority of places so far in my life by car …I will not say that I don’t enjoy travelling by car, in fact I love it…If it’s possible I would travel whole world in my RV…but this fear of mine…I just can’t get rid of it…

I don’t have any control over my fear…my fear has its own mind, it comes and go as per his wish…but those few minutes are worst than committing a suicide…I mean in suicide,  you know you want to die…but in my mind I don’t want to die but my fear makes me scared…

No one is aware about my this fear…actually no one can understand my problem…There are times when I feel like meeting a psychiatrist…Like today…I am leaving for Dehradun,  tommorow morning and that to by car…I hope everything goes smoothly…I reach safely and my fear don’t annoy me…and if you want to know more…I am an Achluophobic and an Acrophobic too…otherwise I am a very brave girl…

Now no need to laugh at me like Veda and my bro…well I am what I am…and I can’t control my weakness…and above all at least I have the guts to be honest…

Well I gotta go and pack my stuff…will se you guys on Thursday…have a great and awesome Wednesday…

Love Aarya

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6 thoughts on “Me & My Fear…”

  1. There are reasons for all fears. The why’s are sometimes difficult to discover, and sometimes never discovered. Courage is moving forward while recognizing your fears, and that is what you do.
    For some reason I have a fear of large trucks, when met on the road or when passed by them. Eventually it goes away, but during those moments there is a cross between panic and rigor mortis setting in.
    It’s normal to fear things. It’s one way God gives us caution and warning. The way I look at it, God didn’t invent cars, if He had really wanted us to have them He would have made them in the beginning. Sure He gave us the intellect to build them but we also have the ideas to do all sorts of things He didn’t intend.
    But no one is going to laugh at you here. Anyone that does anywhere is insensitive. One fear is as important as the next. If others were to accept it and be supporting maybe they could help you with it instead of perhaps making it worse.
    Much Respect
    Ronovan

    1. Thank God…you understood it…its really difficult to explain how I feel in those stressful seconds…well only few people are aware about my phobias…Veda and my Bro is the only one who pulls my leg…but thats fine…I also dont behave very well with there phobia 😀

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