COMPATIBILITY…Will Make Your Relation Glow…

“I am not going to marry him, whether you like or not, I don’t give a damn” I shouted on top of my voice.

“Why? What’s wrong with him? His family is so nice, you are going to be angel of their eyes, his mother is nice too, she’ going to love you like her own daughter, his parents are very broad minded, they are fine with you wearing anything after marriage or doing job, they are really nice people.” My mom tried to convince me.

“What about him? I am not marrying his family, I am going to marry him…and we are just not compatible…” I snapped at her.

“Shadi do parivaaron ka milan hota hai (it’s a bond between two families)…Sankalp is a nice guy” Mom was trying hard to keep her cool.

“No, no, no, no, nooooo, marriage is not about family bonding…its only and only about C.O.M.P.A.T.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y between a girl and a boy and I know we are not so compatible.”

Ten years ago if somebody would have asked me What is Compatibility?…I would have a blank expression on my face, but after years of experience…I know that Compatibility is the only thing that will make your relation glow, long lasting and ever green.

I know most of us are usually confused about the meaning of compatibility…but it’s not a rocket science…each of us has a different personality and traits…we all come from different background and we all have different upbringing and that plays a very vital role in compatibility between two persons.

I was born and brought up in a very liberal family, supports girls education ( very strict about it) and believed in raising their daughter like son…Though my parents tried their best to convince me, I said no, not because Sanklap was a bad  guy, but I knew we were not compatible, he has been brought up in typical atmosphere of UP, and I have been raised in the liberal atmosphere of Gujarat…I love to hang out on weekends(every weekend) that’s a lifestyle habit you will automatically adapt, if you have been raised in Gujarat, while UP is a different place altogether, people out there are very narrow minded and orthodox…they still can’t tolerate the love marriage in their own caste…even if you wear a body hugging chudidaar(leggings) there, they will stare at you like a pimp…so if a person is raised in that kind of environment, then you can’t expect him to be totally broad minded…I have many cousins who have been bought up in UP, they are broad minded but only up to a certain extent…they don’t mind me going for Love marriage but they are a total no no for Live-in-relation….

If you are very fashionable and stylish and you got married to a guy who loves simplicity…it will create a problem for both of you, initially he might not say anything but after sometime…he will ask you to change your habit, now you are left with only two options either you ruin your relationship or compromise…there are 99% chances that you will compromise…Well this just a small example, but there are lots of other things like intellectual, sexual, physical, financial  compatibility, but it doesn’t mean that if you and your partner have different taste in music, so that will make you incompatible…nopes…its more mature than likes and dislikes…

My hubby is very unpredictable, one day he came around 10 in the evening, and asked me to pack suitcase for a week, I asked him why…he told me “we are going to Dharamshala for five days, right now, hurry up…we will miss the plane” I was gaping at him like a fool for almost 5 minutes until he kissed me…I packed the suitcase, by 3 am I was on the plane to Chandigarh…Now imagine the situation if at all I would be the kind of girl who is very organized and doesn’t like surprises at all…what would have happened at that moment…well we all know the answer…Like my mom, if you want her to go  anywhere, you have to give her one week’s notice in advance (that too if you want to go for one day)…my surprise expeditions makes her crazy…fortunately I am not like her, that makes him happy, but it’s not that these surprises doesn’t piss me off…out of 100, I enjoy 80, let’s not talk about the remaining 20…

Compatibility has a very subtle meaning and the day you will understand it; you will have the happiest relation in the world…so next time when you are planning to go on a date or about to choose a life partner or looking for a life partner….Compatibility is the only thing you need…

Love ❤ AARYA

PS: I know this topic it not exactly related to the today’s Writing 101 Challenge but I have debated on this topic with my mom and others day and night a lot during my marriage preps…I hope it helps you in some way…Enjoy 😀


14 thoughts on “COMPATIBILITY…Will Make Your Relation Glow…”

  1. I enjoyed this. When I saw the word count I normally would not have been able to give it a shot but being from you I know your style and trusted you.
    Compatibility is like Lego pieces. For them to fit together and work together their parts have to join where they are different in order to bond tightly.
    Much Respect

    1. I am sorry I cant help word count…I try really hard not to exceed 600 words but I don’t know these words automatically cross the boundary 🙂

      Lego pieces…I haven’t thought about it at all…but you understood my point of view and that is what counts 🙂

      Thanks for visiting 🙂

  2. I really liked your post. And you hit the nail on the head with the “compatibility” factor. Marriages in our part of the world tend to be more about “compromise” than “compatibility”. Wonderful read. 🙂

  3. I found this really interesting. No matter about the writing challenge. You are very right about compatibility, we are different in all aspects and I do believe that different poles tend to attract each other.(don´t know if the expression came out the way it should by the way). But I do know this girl from Gujarat, and it seems to me that woman there are quite constraint. And what you said about the boy being very nice at the beginning and then asking her to change and eventually she will compromise is exactly what happened to this girl. My understanding, according to her, is that even in Gujarat, you are ecpected to be married at age 22 and have kids by age 25. And the men, in general to me seem to be the ones who have a lot of control over the life´s of their wife´s. Maybe I went wrong someplace here, so tell me what you think if you can.

    1. You know Charly whole India is facing this problem…in India people still believes in arranged marriages…and in some parts of the country we are supposed to get married by the time we turn 20 or 22 and Gujarat is one them…we are forced to have children within year of marriage and if we dont we girls are considered bad luck…situation is way to worse…and men are assholes…they never stand for their wives, they are always in favor of their mothers…and mother in laws keeps on bitching about their daughter in laws whole day…so its lots of mess…
      Compatibility you will hardly find it in Indian marriages…I hope you are satisfied with the answer…feel free to ask anything else 🙂

      1. The answer was exactly what this girl is going through. No wonder she finds me interesting, me and all other guys in western social media.
        It´s just doesn´t get in my head how the guys do that or that culture. You just described what this girl is going thorough from the husband to the mother in law to what is expected of them, amazing that woman still live like that.
        Where are you from? Aren´t you from that region and how come you seem to be quite happy with your husband. I´m glad for it, don´t need to reply to the last part if is too intrusive.

      2. No I have been brought up in Gujarat…but I am from Northern Regions of India…and situation of the women are same whether you are from Gujarat or bengal or south India…
        Well I have gone with love marriage…we know each other since ten years…and we have a great compatibility and tuning which is important for marriage so i am happy…I know if I have gone with the arranged marriage either I was crying or he was crying 😀
        And as far your friend attraction is considered…well when men are so orthodox and dominating all the time girls would definitly like to hang out with cool guys 🙂

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