Expectations…a vicious circle…

EXPECTATION is a very vicious word or shall I say vicious circle

Since the day an embryo is formed in the womb…expectation circle starts rolling…whether it will be a boy or a girl…or if you already have a boy, you would like to have the latter one and vice versa…I will send him/her to this school…I will ask him/her to pursue this degree or that…if you are a doctor you would prefer your son or daughter to be a doctor only, you will not be able to compromise even on nurse or some pathologist…I would like her to have this kinda life partner, he shouldn’t be black because we are white and vice versa…I would like her to wear this in her wedding…the list is never ending…

I guess it’s a human tendency to EXPECT…and most of the time, they are suffocating…

Our parents, teachers and family expects from us…and to make it worst society also expects from us…to do great in life, to be always on the right path, to be more successful not only professionally but also personally…and we also expect the same from them, we look up to them as to set the right example for us…and once we have family, we expect the same from our kids, just like that this Vicious Expectation Circle keeps rolling…

One thing that I learnt so far from life is “the secret to happiness is low expectation”…The more you will expect, the more you are going to get hurt…and it is a harsh reality…people who have very high expectations from everyone around them, can never have a normal life, because someone is going to break your heart for sure…

That is why I have stopped expecting anything from anyone…majority of the time people don’t do what you were expecting from them…so it’s better don’t expect, when you will not expect anything, you will be able to behave normally with opposite person…Usually I am able to handle it apart from exceptional situations…

To be frank, I don’t have any expectations from my brother or hubby or my best friend…because there might come a time when they will not perform or behave as per my expectations and it will break my heart so to avoid that situation, I have stopped expecting things from them…well I can’t say that about my parents because I never did anything as per their expectations 🙂

I remember the time when one of my best friend stopped talking to me altogether after her marriage…she opted for Arranged Marriage, so she broke all communications with me because she was scared that I will spill the beans in front of her husband…after 20 years of friendship, when she behaved like that I was heartbroken…after all those beautiful days and so many wild secrets that we shared this is what I get in the end…she never attempted to make a simple phone call to me, many people still wonder what went wrong between us…we were like mirrors, I cried a lot because of all those people around me she was the last I ever expected would change but she did…I gave her Lord Ganesh’s murthi(good luck charm for newlyweds) along with a letter, on her wedding day, I wrote only two lines ‘your true friends will never judge you, they will standby you in every decision of your life’ she never responded afterwards…she left a wound which would never heal …maybe time can heal it…till then I will try to heal my wounds, I know it will leave a scar…but that scar will help me remember ‘don’t expect especially from your loved one’s, if they will not deliver, they will leave a wound which is beyond cure’

What we would be willing to do for others that is what we expect from others…and it is really tricky because majority of the time you will be left heartbroken…and in life we always expect more from the people whom we love most in our life and it hurts a lot when they disappoint us…

Sometimes you just have to lower your expectations to avoid unnecessary disappointments’…I am trying hard to stick to this rule, sometimes I succeed sometimes I fail…it is very difficult but if you will master this art you will be able to live happily ever after…I am still working on it…








12 thoughts on “Expectations…a vicious circle…”

  1. I’m about to start writing on this topic for it’s really triggering bombs inside my head but what you said hits the target 10/10… it’s a damn vicious circle… something you can never get away from! 😦

  2. I am so sorry to hear about what your friend did to you. That is really sad. Maybe she’s done it entirely out of fear. Did you ever try talking to her about it. It truly does sound like a huge wound has scarred your heart my dear. 🙂

    1. I tried to contact her few sometimes but everytime she responded as if dont know who is calling…so I stopped I cant take it any more…but yes I did wrote her a letter…I told her that I will always be there for her…I want her to be happy 🙂

  3. But, we all expect something. It is human nature. Better to accept this, and accept that there will times of disappointment, and others of joy

  4. I suppose not expecting does lead to less disappointment. But I wonder if we truly can NOT expect things from people. I mean if you are married there are things you expect. But I going with an understanding of your words as meaning not expecting expectations of them, such as accomplishments or traditional things. Those are things that are individual based things and individual rights. Whereas being married you expect loyalty in certain areas. In family you expect love because they are your family. Does this mean you expect them to support you in your decisions? Perhaps not. When one is given free will they are bound to disappoint others if others set in their minds expectations.
    A very good read. I enjoyed it. Made me think. I prefer to comment relevantly rather than make singular statements with no real backbone in their meaning or thought in their words.
    Much Respect

    1. You made me think too Ron…I expect that people should behave in certain way…I wrote it but you made me realize that no matter how hard we try to run away from expectation…we cant…its in human nature…but yes we can control our bad habit of always expecting too much from everyone 🙂
      You know you made me realize in one of your post…that comment when you feel like and like it when you think its worth liking…and I have been following that rule religiously 😀
      Thanks for reading it…I always thought about my this post as ine of my best 😀

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