Daily Prompt: Things: Drive Me Crazy

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Sometimes it’s awful the habits people have. The most awful is that they can see it on my face. Most of time, the first impression becomes the last one for me. It takes me months to change one. I can bear a lot of things. But some I can’t.

I don’t like people throwing tantrums and blowing their own trumpet. Most of Indians have these habits. They not only talk about themselves but about their XYZ family members, whom you don’t know, in fact will never get the chance to know. Since you are with that guy, you are bound to listen that. The worst comes when one can see the butterflies on my face.

The other most interesting and disgusting fact is the advising. Sometime people love to advise you. That’s the secondary thing for them; whether you need an advice or do you need on advice on the topic they are giving you or something else. That’s drive me crazy because of two things: first, do you really a well-wisher to me, and if yes why don’t you answer me I want to know. Second, Don’t you think that you should advise the person from the person’s perspective. And not throwing yours so idealistic list on others. Perhaps those could be big no for others.

Third the most disturbing fact I find is complaining one. Some of the times, people don’t understand and accept that they do make mistakes and others can make too. Just keep on complaining won’t help. And making it on your top of pitch is the disaster. If you have any remedy then please do discuss that too. Just complaining won’t work. Second, I find it hard to digest that they don’t look for facts and jump to conclusions. This attitude is not help but fills negativity in air.

And the last one but not the least, as it is the most terrible one, Back Bitching. This is Girls favorite. Like a girl never goes out without her vanity so is the back bitching. They can never miss it. They love it like they love their makeup routine. They can hang up their guys for hours but won’t miss a single chance to have it. So addictive this habit is. That’s the one I detest most. The moment one starts doing it. I feel, If she can do it to me, then she can do mine to anyone.

All the things I hate are relevant to one’s nature. One’s nature matters me most. I can adjust with the physical one, but not with the interior one. I always grew up believing that once is good from inside can be made marvelous from outside. I also believe that one has something which is the unique and the most loved one. So when I get into these situations, I try to ignore the wrong one. If I get chance I try to correct them. If I don’t get, I just get along with them.

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Career or Family…Choice is yours???

In the span of last 20 years, India has changed a lot…previously girls hardly used to complete their education, even a 10th or 12th Grade pass girls were also considered educated and if any girl had completed her Graduation, that means she was highly qualified…but now scenario is totally different, girls are not only completing their Graduation but they are also working…they are also contributing financial help to their families…

Today’s women in India are highly qualified and financial independent…Parents are also providing them same platform just like their son, good food, good clothes, best education, you name it and they are doing everything for their beloved daughters…gone are those days when they were dependent…but in this rat race, all these great independent women’s have forgotten their main & huge responsibility…HOUSE & FAMILY…

Well, I know I may sound rude & old school…but think about it…Am I wrong???

Since ancient times, house & family were responsibility of a woman and man was supposed to bring home beacon…but around 19th century things started shifting, women started working…they joined the workforce and started walking in the rat race with men…now some of them started working due to their bad financial position while some started working for fun…but in the long run, lots of things has taken a wrong turn…

I salute to all those women who are working to support their family, I know if given the choice they would love to quit it  but they can’t…but what about those girls who are working for fun, they are happily married, financially secured, have two beautiful children to look after still they want to work…WHY????

We all agree to it that if you are working woman you can’t manage both your house and your job…you will perform only at one place either house or job…now majority of the women prefer to perform well in their jobs…but what about your first priority your family & house…how could you just turn away your face from them…and I know its harsh but all these working women are not at all good with managing house & kids…

Most of the time their house is a mess, they hardly cook at home & they hardly have time to spend with their kids…and husband as well, who is he…even if you manage to have a full time servant & nanny for your kids, but what about you…you wanted to get married and have beautiful life with your husband but you don’t have time for him…you wanted to enjoy your motherhood, but you are leaving your kids with nanny & a full time servant…have you ever thought that you are running away from your responsibilities would have a very severe impact in long run…

In India, divorce cases are on rise, marriages are getting …..and the reason these 21st century girls don’t want to QUIT…there all time favorite line, “I am highly educated & equally qualified just like my husband then why should I leave my job & career…why can’t he do that”…you gotta be kidding me…do you really think that man have those qualities of managing a home, still somehow they will manage home, but what about kids???… most of these working woman love to live with their in-laws, they are not madly in love with them…they are usually tolerating them so that she can work and her in-laws will help in household activities & will keep an eye on children…so in long run, if your kid through you out of house or misbehaves with you or supports your in-laws instead of you, no need to cry over it, that I did this & that for you…NO you didn’t do anything for anyone…you were just bothered about your CARRER…

I am not saying that they shouldn’t work, I am also highly qualified, but I have a family & it is my responsibility & duty to look after them…yes after doing all the household work when I am free, I write…but I am not running after my career, because in the long run after 30 or 40 years, I don’t want to regret that I never gave time to my husband & kids…I don’t want to cry over things that my husband is having extra marital affair or something, well there are bright chances that he will do that because the woman who was supposed to give him everything and satisfy all his needs is busy with her career, so he will definitely go out…and also no need to cry over your kids if they don’t have time for you, because when they needed you the most, you were always sitting in the office…

Man are still doing the same thing, in olden days also they were supposed to bring beacon, and today also they are bringing home beacon in some cases steak…but what about us…why we women have forgotten our responsibilities and duties in the long run…why everyone of us are running after career…why we don’t want to attach housewife tag with us…are you ashamed of your mom, she is housewife, she left her career, her life and more than anything else her identity, just for you…just imagine the situation when she was never at home, every time you came home from school, just think about those days, what if there was no one to give you hot and freshly cooked food, what if there was no one to hug when somebody has teased you or molested you…just imagine your life without your backbone your mother…

Well women are working because of their circumstances, can’t help it…but what about woman who have the best of both worlds still messing with life…full fill your responsibilities and then also if you have time go ahead with your career…so far in life I have understood only one thing you can’t have it all…either you can be a great wife & mother or you can be a great professional…yes there are few jobs which provide you flexibility but that are only few…

Well this is a never ending topic, we can discuss and write about it forever…but I really feel that it’s better to fulfill your first priorities and then go for second one…and trust me my words might be tasting like a snakes poison, but in the long run you will understand what I meant…that is all for today…I will write about it in detail later on…till then I am signing off for today…

AARYA

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Me & My Mood Swings…Can you handle me???

I am a vivacious girl…but there are days when I also feel low…just like any other normal girl, I also have a problem of mood swings, usually before my menses are about to hit…I know I would be depressed, in fact I am usually angry, always ready to pick up a fight with anyone, I can’t help my hormones, I can control my husband but not my hormones, right…but there are days when everything is normal still I get upset, and that pisses me more…because I don’t know the reason, the more I will try to figure it out, the more crazier it will get…

I try different options to get back in my original skin, which I would love to share with you guys…

GO OUT …well that is my all-time fav mantra…whenever I am down, I love to go out because when I see people around me, it boosts up my mood…I don’t know how it works, but it helps…sometimes Vick & I go for a long drive…or sometimes we go 15 kms away just to hog on delicious Pani Puri (Indian Street Food) & kulfi…or go for a movie or dinner…do whatever suits your pocket…this is what I do with my hubby whenever I am upset and we go out…this trick always works for me…

SHOPPING …It’s a Ram baan…no matter how much depressed you are, shopping will take you immediately on cloud 9…I am not asking you to jump in the mall every time you are depressed, because in that situation you end up being financially broken…and we certainly don’t want that…I usually love to go for a Window Shopping, whenever I am in my blues…and sometimes if I like something I buy that thing but I always keep a track on my pocket…now if you really don’t have any finance prob, then go ahead…spend all those dollars $$$…you will really love it…

MAKEOVER…Sometimes a makeover can also pump your mood…just go out and color your hair or try a new hairstyle which you have never tried before…or buy something that you have never worn before but always wanted to…I try that once in a blue moon… 🙂

RENOVATE…Renew your interior…I don’t know about you guys but watching that same paint, same couch, same bed, same curtains also turns me off…so I change it…no need to change everything in one go, like you can change your curtains or paint your one wall with different color…sometimes I take out my expensive sheets that are kept for special occasion and use it while I am feeling low…it work as wonders for me…

STAY AT HOME…You know there are days when we ran out of money, I wanted to go out, but I couldn’t…in those times, I stayed at home, I would prepare 3 course meal dinner at home…then Vick & I watch movie with popcorn and coke…sometimes we watch back to back two or three movies…SATC is my all-time fav serial, I watch that too when Vick is not around…It helps me to get out of my bad mood quite easily…this is the second most thing I prefer to do apart from going out…

 

SPACE…Sometimes when I am depressed, I want to be alone and I just ask Vicky to give me some time and space…and he always does that…I try to figure out what went wrong, for which I usually never get an answer, I cry, I know it might sound lame but once I am done with my crying, I feel light…I talk to myself, I ask question and then looks for an answer…sometimes I don’t get an answer but those hours of talk and cry lifts my mood automatically…

HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS…It works like a glucose I guess, well at least in my case…whenever I am upset I hang out with my girlfriends…and trust me it’s a best way to come out of your blue days…

TALK…When I am upset, I usually talk to my friend but she cannot be available 24/7/365 days…so sometimes I talk to Vicky, sometimes I shout on him or fight with him without any reason… and the best thing is this he always understands when I am having trouble with my moods and never gets angry on me, he just sits silently and listen to all my crap until I am done…after that he gets up and gives me a BIG HUG…talk, talk, talk, talk, taaaalllkkkk…that is quite a successful mantra…

SEX…Sex is the solution to all problems, sometimes when I feel low, we just plan to have sex…we try to experiment sometimes at some odd corner of the house, you will immediately forget about your depressed mood because you will be concentrating more on making it right and enjoyable…

VISITING A SPA OR PAMPERING YOURSELF AT HOME…Book an appointment to your favorite SPA and indulge yourself in those relaxing & refreshing massages…but sometimes when I ran out of money or I am not in the mood to take the pain of going out, I pamper myself at home, by doing facial, manicure, pedicure at home…and sometimes I do all these things with my hubby…it’s something different from your daily routine…it will definitely give a kick to your bad mood…

PETS also helps you to get back to normal a lot…I have two turtles, LEO & OLIVER…they make me happy no matter how stressed or sad I am…and if you have serious troubles with depressing blue days…get one…

Well these are few things that I try, to come out of my blue days, it works for me…feel free to experiment if you have liked some of the above…till then I will have an appointment with my…never mind 😉

 

AARYA

 

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Daily Prompt: Say NO to: LOWNESS

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Feeling blue is the worst feeling in the world. When I am blue I don’t understand what to do. I hate to have anyone’s advice. One makes it worse by saying that I can understand what you feel.  I don’t understand that if I can’t understand myself then how can you.

Well I learned in my life one thing very clearly that it’s just THE FEEL, which can dominate me for seconds or for hours but can’t ever last. I need to pump up and shall dance on its head. Not let that feel to dance on my head to misery. I remember the one I had nine months ago. I was married, an MBA graduate, bachelors with chemical engineering and work experience in one of the Forbes listed multinational company. Then came the time when I have to come to abroad to live with my husband.  I thought that I can manage anything on this planet because I know a lot of things.

There started the real game. I thought that I can play fair. But the deadly start in the first half almost bent me to my knees after I landed. I started meeting the Indian families, I met a lot. I got the chance to meet other culture’s families too. To my amaze I found that “My own culture belonging families” were more unresponsive and pretentious one. Everyone was galvanized and glittered with their so called accomplishments. They were two good in making one feel low. For a moment I felt that I hit the rock. I was tarnished and devastated. I couldn’t see the way to out. But I do remember my ma’s advice: When you don’t understand anything it means only two things: Either you are to make bright future or you have just created a bright past.

With these lines, I always gather up myself believing that I am begun to start a new page to my life. Now I have few friends on this foreign land whom I can count, share and be myself. And those who had hit me hard respect me for my new sparkling confidence.

So don’t bury yourself with the feeling of lowness. It’s just the feel and will go away with time. Always take a deep breath…. Take a high jump with a belief that you are about to create a new world …….

Believe me this blue will turn into bright gold……

As my mother in law always says: Golden Future is waiting for you…….

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